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"The point is that you can’t be too greedy."
Donald Trump
"Greed is all right, by the way … I think greed is
healthy. You can be greedy and still feel good about yourself."
Ivan F. Boesky
"Greed is good."
Gordon Gecko
Introduction
Eyeballs looking at screens. Brains scheming to make money from eyeballs looking at screens. Me wishing I thought of those schemes. The time has come for a comprehensive list of every conceivable way to make money on the Web. The list must be complete, showing every single possible scheme or plan. It must be explicit, explaining exactly how that money is made. The list must link to the very best example of each and every methodology. The list must accurately record exactly how much money is being generated in each category and by the best example in each category. It must be the Mother of All Lists on Making Money on the Web.
If you find that list, please let me know. In the meatime, you may be interested in the one I am compiling here.
The Reigining Champion
Honorable Mention
Solicit funds for a truly worthy cause that will pull at the heartstrings of millions.
The List
Beg.
Steal it.
Ask for it.
Sell pictures of naked women.
Promote an illegal pyramid
scam.
Promote a (possibly) legal
pyramid scam
Convert
your mail order catalog to a Web Catalog. Sell Stuff.
Give away free
guides to making money on the Internet for a $5.00 handling charge
Convince
companies they must have a presence on the net. Sell it to them.
Sell subscriptions to your on-line magazine
or newpaper.
Sell Advertising
from your free Web Search Service
Sell links from your wildly successful home page.
Sell links
from your widely ignored home page.
Sell stock
in your company on the Web.
Write Web Advertising..
Conduct Web Trade Shows.
Build cheap corporate
Web Sites.
Build expensive corporate Web Sites.
Write cool software. Give it away
on the web. Hope to get paid.
Create very
expensive Web surveys that are obsolete before they are finished.
Subcontract to
build Web Sites but only if you never actually have to talk to the customer.
Sell long distance phone
cards ... er - give away web pages ... uh - I can't figure this one out.
Sell the results
of breathtakingly stupid surveys of no possible interest to anyone.
Try Subliminal Advertising
(sort of)
Measure
Web site usage.
Continue on to Chapter 5: On The Merits of Eating Your Children.
-or-
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